gloommyyyyy

i miss my ah yi lo mo...... Hw can she lve mi w/o seeing mi getting married... She promise mi...
I did promise myself tt i will nt tears.... But in the end its still beyond my ctrl....

Boozeeee

Can't realli rmb. But i think it sld b last sat. Celebrate my friend bday. We went 1819 to booze.... 1 martell n 5 jug of beer i think... As usual i took my bike dwn. Guess wad i was banned from riding hm b'cos of e liquor tt i drank. Damned it. N i m forced to tk cab hm.... It is realli wad e F...! Cab fare is damn ex! No shit shelocks. Next day morning i still haf to tk cab back to get my bike.... Damn! All of them sleeping like a pig @ hm n i still haf to work e whole day. E saddest pt is tt eddie is nt in sing. If nt i wldn haf to travel so much on e stupid cab. Hope eddie is haf ing lots of fun in HK.

Wad a mth

just cum to realise tt i haf been spending a few K a mth... Wad e f...
Oh boi tis truely is over spent...
Oh well wad comes ard goes ard...
Hai my new bike is coming out tis mth happpi.. but at e same time spend too much on e new bike! Tt for sure. Blew my pocket on it.... @ least e bike won't lve mi.... Tt for sure!

Alone:
When e sky is dark,
When e wind is strong,
When ray of hope seem dull,
When e mist cloud our vision,
When e path is full of uncertain,
When e time seem lost for all eternal,
Wad can i do,
Who can i seek,
Wad can b done,
Who is there,
Who is nt,
Who can i share my greive wif,
Who is there to share my burden,
I question,
Y is life miserable,
Y is life hard,
Y is life harsh,
Y life can't b in ctrl,
Y is there so much for mi to face,
Y is there a thousand and 1 y,
Yet 1 stood alone in e corner pondering.... Pondering.....
???????????????????????????????????
It makes 1 wonder y.

????

Random??? Still on losing steak.... Wa ha ha ha... So so so damn it curse it....
Having shit nt fr work but others....

feeling:
Ironic ironic, getting angry for no reason.
When 1 luv, 1 falls,
When 1 cry, 1 cheers,
When 1 wan, 1 reject,
When wan 1 needs, 1 deny,
When 1 desire, 1 contradict,
As much as i wan to but i just can't.

fatigue???? Or no?????

life is per normal tis few wks... Nothing much has happen...
But e dizzy spell keep coming to mi n it SUCK big time!!!
1st was @ zouk onli 3 shots plus beer...
2nd was @ viva onli a couple of macallan...
Man was tt bad!!!
For e last mth i was drinking more thn tis n nothing happen to mi.... Oh boy...
Lucky for mi aft viva i got a bed rd e corner :D
Tis realli SUCK big time i saY.
Oh well lucky thing for mi is tt i actually win in maj aft i lost for e past 6 mth...

curse it just ain't my luck.

Damn... Just brought a new white leather predo shoes n guess wad, e leather is being torn out by don noe wad. Damn. There goes my new shoes. Oh well. Consolation i did pass my traffic police today... ;-)
No gf so will concentrate all my might on my upcoming bike. My next bike = to my upcoming wife. Wa ha ha ha... Promise to bring eddie for a spin @ a higher spd. Wee wee...
Curse it... I really like my new shoe!
Life ain't tt bad, living happily everyday. No worries abt is going to happen... But e onli thing i m worried abt is still eddie. E way she wobble @ her hse still flashes vividly in my mind. Damn... Its nt tt i mind. But is tt i mind too much. Anyw must work hard in e upcoming few mth for my bike. ;-)

Counsel, studying

Went back to camp today to collect my text book. Damn, was e text bk thick n i must study n clear it within 2 wks.... Omg hw m i going to finish it????
Just went back to see my old trainee, guess wad saw 2 student wif depression. And my trainee who is an instructor nw can't do anything abt it...
So i suggest to help out. Talk n talk each last mi abt 1 hr man was i thirsty... 1 is like in e verge of split personality n 1 is too depress... Does army reallo made pple cranky... Seriously don noe cos nt on my count... But lucky for mi effort nt waste cos they actualli listen lucky for mi to b able to bring them back to path... But still there is more to b done. Hope both of them can actualli make it thru in their training.... Bless them...
Wonder hw eddie is doing??? Miss her...

Rave!!!

For e past 2 wk its like a killer... 2 ditch man sitting side by side @ viva... Both of us went there till broke! Not shitting any1 out there...
Oh well life still goes on nevertheless??? Rite?
Damn on a thur faithful nite. I call my dear nw. Damn tt a very bad move! End up being e target board wif mulitiple darts on mi... Chris n eddie??? Who wld though both wld gang up on mi... I can onli suck it up; pronto! DAMN!
1st time in mi life i haf nothing to say back!
Think it must haf been eddie. A person i seldom talk back to!
Wad to do... Just suck it up ROCKY!
Gosh. I'm always e 1 firing @ pple... Oh well there a 1st to everything. Rite :D
@ e maj table eddie ask mi whether i wana convert gay. Hmmm tt thot did came to my mind b4 but nevertheless i still got some 1 in mind so Naaaaa.... Its definite nt my ex or any of my ex... Its a person i nv open my mouth n tell her tt i wana b wif her. Thou i like her fr don noe since when???
I think it is mission impossible! But tt does nt matter... Wad matter most nw is everybody is living happily...
Aqua tt song : if onli i can turn back time.... Hai if tt can happen, hw wonderful wld tt b. Naaa dreaming of e impossible... But i still look toward e future. :D
Cos it is feel wif infinite possibility....

Crazy long nite!!!!!!!

Think abt it, i haf been going to viva for almost 2 wk. Damn tired. Every nite stranded over @ viva. Also don noe wad to do.... Sing song, talk cock. Hai... Eventually tis get alittle bit bored.
My poor little boy... Looking at her no doubt any1 wld find her pretty but when look beyond e shell, it sadden mi.... It neither haf e full of vibrant nor full of sorrow look... It like a trance...
Anyw, i still love her...
Playing majon tis yr is a killer, lose every time literally... It either more or less.
My life n luck is taking a dwn turn... Big 1!!!
Need to find more job... Must find back my life of working like a dog....

Furious unleash....

Anger haf been suppress,
Anger haf been released,
Anger haf been bottom up,
Yet it is still been released slowly,
It felt like a dormant volcano,
Don noe when will it erupt,
Don noe when will it subside.

Traffic police

Today is my traffic police day....
Damn sucky tt i fail but at e same time i don feel disappointed, in fact i feel relieve...
Don noe y....
Just push dwn a revo but guess wad found a better deal, a spec 2....
Too bad nt enough fund so might even abort tt plan.... Sad
Life is miserable w/o $$$....
Need to work more n earn lots of $$$...
Dreams need to b fulfill promise need to b fulfill...
Taking tis mth slow n steady...
Don noe y so many of my friend got together wif pple they don really love...
So damn IRONIC!!!
Oh well as long as they r happi, tt all it matter...
Another gd deal go dwn e drain...... Sad
Living as a human is gd yet a burden....
Life is full of anticipation n full of disappointment...
Moral of e story, don hope n u will stay happi...

all well end well

Nothing in tis world is perfect.
Wad i can hope for is tt she understand the meaning of : love torment n tolerate
Wad is nt urs u can't tk it away.
Wad is urs u can't ditch it away.
Hope things goes well for everybody.
Orginal e heart don't belong to mi.
Nt to mention nw.
Things happen so fast tt it is a real killer. N there is nothing any1 cld do abt it.
All well my little boy is doing well.

CRUEL

Cruelty....
Meaning: mean cruel to other equal to beening cruel to ourself...
Gif pple a chance n gif yourself a chance.
Locking in a domaint doesn help wif anything.
Unlock ur door n unleash ur true self... Whether it b gd or bad.

From the dawn of time,
Selfishness is there,
Selfishness lead to cruelty,
Thus brutality is form,
Savage of human of mankind can be seen in different prospect,
Violence, hatred, anger, scheming, plotting, inflicting and many more,
What human desire and what they could not get,
Give rise to the dark side,
Horrible things starts to happen,
Cruel intention surface.
Its in every human.

Tks u so Much...

The past 2 days has been my very gloomy day of my life... Tks so much eddie my little boy. Tks u for ur accompany @ e dinner n for e follow up days... Tks for ur hugssss it really does bring me great comfort.
For tt i will always rmb.....
I'm in ur debt....
N fear nt, thou tis little gal haf sml shoulder... They will always b ready for u when u need it.
N ya things i promise u i did nt forget so... Don't U THINk I HAF....
U will get it soon....

26

Today is my so call 3rd mth anniversary. N ya.... Nothing much new has happen... I did hope tt she will come dwn wif e necklance... N join me for e dinner but ya.... Tis is e end.....
Just read a bk.... N i come to realise tt wad she say is true. I did change.

Tis mayb e last...... To my blog

Hai... Promise is hard to keep.... I once ask can u promise nt to lve mi. But in e end, she still lve mi. M i a failure or wad; each relationship is getting shorter thn e previous. I haf kept mi promise. N will fufill e rest of it tt i promise...
Hw i wish i can haf a long relationship. But.... Nahhhhhh i think tt is nt possible...
2 of my ex gf promise mi to accompany mi to my sis wed.... But none came true.
I actually do wish tt tis will b my last relationship.... But it appear nt.......
I haf bid farewell to e hse @ hf rd
All things can b done.... Haf been done...tis is abt it.....
For the Last time..... Last time......... I say.........
I love u bb.......

Cheap

Life is cheap. Tt is wad i always agree on. Nw tt i haf no more worries. Ya life is as gd as dead to mi :)
Words r definitely cheaper... Tt y i tried hard to hold on or rather struggling to grasp hold of it.
In either way i haf fulfill most of it. Even somethings bad happen to mi nw, i can R.I.P w/o much of a worries...
Pray hard tt pple i love wld b in gd health, gd career n everything gd.
Wad happen is done.... Hai i miss 2 mth back. :)
Will b willing to gif up my soul to experience it once again....
Cheers to wad ever may fall upon mi. :p

Too much on my mind... :o

So much too worried, biz, study n my automobile.... Hai.....
Just done up e sum myself.
Invest in biz = no study plus no automobile
Don invest in biz = study n automobile
Hai don noe wish to chose. So so hard.
I may just turn wealth fr biz. But there a dwn turn. Or rather if i meet a dwn fall. Which mean tt i will really die. Hai..... Wad sld i do.......

Heart

My heart is like having acute myocardic infaction. Pain is like anytime. Don noe when it comes don noe when it goes. When it comes, it felt like e world is crushing dwn on mi. When it goes, e pain cease to exist. But still will feel e aftermath. Ahhhh.... she is like an asprin. It ease e pain. But when an asprin don work. I wonder wad can? I wonder??? Nothing better thn tt asprin.

Love / Torment / Tolerate???

From love comes torment,
From torment comes tolerate,
From tolerance comes love,
From love, it generate strength for us to tolerate torment,
From tolerance, it show us how much we care for our partner,
From torment, our heart can truly tell us how we really feel for our partner,
From what i see, there is no escaping from either three,
From when it started, nobody knows, except it has always been there.

Mistake Mistaken Mistook

My face has been awfully black recently. Possible reason; matters of the heart.
Got quite a num of parent complaining abt mi.
Saying tt tis coach seem fierce... But wad can i say its my face aft all. Hai wad to do.....
Whose opinon of my face. All can b ignored except 1. E onli 1 person i couldn't ignored...
All well does e 1 constitute to my blackie... I wldn say totally no. All well's end well's....
Certain things r nt meant to say, as e ending product is something which i don desire.

Another horrible day.

Hai another faithful day or can i say doom day have arrived. things r happening so fast and i ain't haf e chance to haf a breather.... Oh well tt life... Wad do i expect. Nothing will go smooth in my life... Let just hope mi career wld if nt i can go kill myself... Hai.......
In life nothing is perfect nothing is gd.....
Tt is y i need to work extreme hard for it...

Suprise suprise....

To my suprise... Me friend told mi tt i haf lost weight.... I was a bit stun cos i haf been eating. N e weight still carry on dipping. Its nt like i purposely wanting it to happen but it still happen. Hai too stressful n burnout. Just like a batt which is going to b flat but yet it can still flicker... Oh boi i need a recharge like 2 yrs ago. As wad i agree life is cheap. But 1 need to b responsible to pple to things. Nw wad i can do is earn more money n prepare for e next comimg event. Launch of my own biz... Hope things can run smoothly... Keeping my finger cross.... I think my moodyness is e thing causing mi to constant losing weight. Must get back a little fatter if nt a scolding is bound to come my way soon. To lose and gain weight rapid i noe it myself can only b cause by the women i love. Oh well will still try to put on some weigh thou

Life

Hw i wld wan to spend my life?
Seeing e old folks taking a sroll by the beach holding each other hand, hw envious.
Looking ar couple holding their hand thru wedding, hw envious.
Looking at parents holding their three yr old kid n playing ard with the child, hw envious.
Looking at granny/grandpa renewing their vows, hw envious.
Looking at myself. Hai 1 word to describe, sad.
All n all, wad u desired u can't get but wad u don desired u get.
Tt part of life.
All i can do is wait patiently for things to happen.
Hope tin gong dote gong kia. :)

Don feel good

Who wld haf noe tt a simple phone call wld end up into such a big arguement. Hai... I tell u life is so unpredictable. Nv haf expected tt to happen. I just hope tt we cld get back to the serenity we once haf. Can't blame any1 for the arguement. Cos she too stress over work and i m too moody. Oh well i guess tis is e life of an working adult. No choice.

Beautiful rainbow???

Life is getting better i hope. My bb finally noe tt i do care for her veri much... N she promise me tt she will nt do tis again. Oh well tt life, the rough love will bear its fruits when shit happen n we persever thru... hoping for a better tmr everyday. With hopes it make our life more meaningful as it passes day... brought a necklace from SK for my bb although its a sml gift from mi for our 3rd anniversary but i felt tt it is nt gd enough i sld haf gotten something better for her. but cldn realli felt a bit useless.... hai tt life u can' t haf the best of everrything.
At times i don feel love, at times i feel lots of love..... oh well like i said u can't haf the best of everything. i m just glad tt she like the necklace :)
Thou i haf reprimanded her on certain things. but she still my love nevertheless!

Photo shoot.

Was piss off tt i reach there damn early cos the actual starts late n i mean late. Wad thrill tt i can end off early cos early = more time for my bb. But call her more thn 20 times yet no ans. Wait for 3hrs yet no ans. Was getting tired so went hm n rest. tis few day, MAN m i tired. Is nt tt i don wan to slp but i can't plus even if i slp, i can't rest well feel very edgy recently Oh boi, hw i miss her look, her touch, her lips, her scent and her herself

Ironic...

Sometimes it is just stange. I bluff her she bluff me... Noe tt she is nt working but she tell mi mayb... Hmmm ironic.... Theortical saying she didn bluff. I ain't angry. Just a bit sad cos i can't meet her... Oh well she need to be free like tt of a sparrow in the sky... Flying in sky w/o worried.... Hw beautiful... I'm just like e grass to nurse her wound n hunger before she fly again like a beautiful kite in the sky for me to admired before she land again.

Love my definition

Love is about tolerance,
Love is about forgiving,
Love is about uncondition giving,
Love is about loving with your might,
Love is about loving with your life,
Love is about devotion,
Love is about never leaving her,
Love is about giving in to her,
Love is about loving her as the one n only.

Plead

I plead to god,
I plead to earth,
I plead to sea,
I plead to friends,
I plead to foes,
I plead to spare me of the sorrow,
I plead to release me of the suffering,
I plead to release me of fear,
I plead to be release of agony,
All and all if none of the above can come true,
I plead only for your happiness.

Unease

Don't noe y today i feel very unsettle very unease can't concentrate. Keep feeling that something is not right. But yet can't tell what is wrong. Woke up early in the morning at 7 plus, slept @ 6am. I haf fear of cold for e past few yr. So i don sweat when i slp... But today i sweat till it woke me up. I literally drench my bed... Since thn i haf a veri uneasy feeling for e whole day.... Tis feeling is sucky, cos i don noe wad i'm worried neither do i noe wad i fear... I haf check on all my love 1. They r doing fine. Yet i still feel e same way.... I really need u wif me tonight but u haf program on.... I'm feeling very lost, anxious, worried, fear, scared.... A veri veri mix feeling. I do need u desperately!

Schooling!

So Happy to see my bb finally going to start sch... N yet a bit sad. :( start sch=less time wif me. Can't see her so often. Oh well as long as she is happi so will i. :)
Thinking of her bday made me sad too... Wanting to celebrate wif her but she is going on a cruise wif her friend. Haiz.......
At times, i think tt i m transparent...
Oh well, wad to do rite.....

A day out

Today outing wif my bb has been great. Its been long since i felt like tis. Most prob its b'cos my bb gal is very stress up wif her stuff. We haf great fun in shopping, eating and just stoning ard. Life has been better for today. Hoping tt in future, everyday wld b like today. Ah.... E best things tt i didn expect is it my bb actually offer to watch soccer wif me. My delighted by her msg. All wells ends well.... So so happy. I foresee a better tmr n a better future.

A nite of bearing the heart

Seriously saying i nv see it coming. it was meant to b a quiet nite.
We end up talking a lot. bearing out heart out more thn any time we ever haf.
I think i got the alcohol to tks for it.
I heard alot of things n i tell alot of thing.
The worst part of the conversation is the metaphor sentense.
It really made me feel terrible for a min................
N i don noe wad made u came out wif a conclusion tt my love isn't as much compare to the last time.
Well i hope u finally noe tt i haven under cut u in any way in which i sld love u.
Definitely u will nt suffer alone.
i wld rather i suffer thn u.....
I promise tt i will tk care of u means i will, no matter wad issue arise.
Nw is like tt. In future it will also b the same.
Just allow and gif yourself a chance to let u see wad i can do n prove to u.
Hw i wish tt u will swallow tt pride of urs at times.
I must apologise for some of the wrong things i said.
Lets build a better future together.

Eternity

Eternity give birth to vows,

From vows give birth to love,

From love give birth to hatred,

When there is no hatred there is no love,

When there is no love there is no vows,

As times pass this element grows,

As it grows, our heart gets weaken,

Survive the element,

Survive the ordeal,

May our love last for eternity.

finally the appointment which was meant 1 yr ago

Finally we get to met up after missing a couple of meet out.
I'm glad that u told me what happen to you and i'm very sorry to hear that.
Oh well shit happen. so ya lets shit wa ha ha hah .
As u mention on the point of no return.
I don regret nw n i won't regret in the future.
i will hold her hand till she lets go.
This is a promise i made n ya i won't go back on it, cos there is love in it.
Plus i'm devoted to it.
As the pointed that u say, i will bare it in mind.
Peace out.....

SILENCE

Silence is around us,

Silence is cause by grief,

Silence is cause by love,

Silence is cause by anxiety,

Silence is cause by jealously,

Silence is cause by hatred,

Silence is cause by sorrow,

Silence is cause by remorse,

Silence is cause by overjoy,

Silence is cause by happiness,

Silence is cause by delight,

Whatever the cause of the silence, i'm glad i'm doing this with you, as there is no other person whom i can share all of this with.

You are who you are, i am who i am, together we will silently pieces together all feeling we have (joy, anger, sadness and feeling blue)

TIME

Time is long,

Time is short,

Time is infinite,

Time is just a mere 24 hours,

Time can makes us go insane,

Time can makes us crazily in love,

Time will heal,

Time will kill,

Whatever time might represent, it up to me decided.

Thus i have decided to love n guard you.